Welcome to the Night of Vice!

March’s poetry slam was vice-themed, and as I’m trying really hard to publish a blog post every two weeks and I’m taking forever to write a story on the awesome guy who’s actually behind said poetry slams, I’ve included my vice poem as a stopgap for greater things to come. I read this to open the slam two weeks ago. (I get to host it for 3 months with stellar poet Meg Dunn!) I’d like to say thanks to The Terrace bar tenders, aka my best friends who helped me write this 15 minutes prior to performance. Also, I shouldn’t have to say this, but because this is the internet, I’ll add that my poem below is predominantly fiction.

My friend Charlie took this photo at the Terrace before the slam began.This is me bar-gazing and trying to think of all the words that rhyme with vice.

My house, well it is full of mice
My hair’s just crawling with the lice
My life, each day, I find new crisis
Help me God escape these vices!

I spend money without checking price
I’m always always too damn nice
With friends I play on my device
I undress strangers with my eyes

I want every single slice
I exaggerate with lies.
I drink my rum with hint of spice
I can’t stop smoking all this ice

I sneak out my house late at night
I love to try my hand at dice
I’ve been to rehab once or twice